for I had wished to rip my eyes out is a series of 39 photographs, scanned from a singular 36exp Kentmere ISO 100 B&W 35mm film roll. The film was shot traditionally using a SLR camera and a 50mm prime lens. It was souped in a solution of vinegar and rusty metal, before being hand developed in Kodak D76. From start to finish, this project took about six weeks to complete. Scanned as negatives, trace deposits of rust appear as delicate blues and green hues.

In this project I obtain 39 images from a 36 exp roll. Normally, around 4-5inches of the film strip is discarded prior to scanning: this is the segment of film that by necessity is exposed to light in the loading of the camera. In this processs, I found that the edge markings of the strip were in large part illegible, either faded away or warped. And so I ignored them, and scanned beyond the camera shot photographs.

for I had wished to rip my eyes out speaks to a desire to collapse the material realities of a place, in this case the harvested iron, with its own image. It seeks to make visible the material of the film strip, to remind of the nature of the photograph, as light which floats between two objetcs.




The project is accompanied by the 90s ultra short film ‘Imagine Democritus’

Screenings:
Winnipeg Underground Film Festival, 90s films, 2025